A Caregiver’s Story….The Most Expensive Gig in Town

The hospice case social worker came by. (Mom’s personal guru to anything about death and dying.)  Mom and I got information on funeral home facilities. The most shocking information that came to light is that the funeral home mom was thinking of using, and the facility mom used for dad’s services, is THE most expensive in the area.

Csw is going to email a list of lawyers we can talk to and attach a list of the facilities that may offer the extended care that mom seeks.  However, when he stated what pricing for a facility might cost, in the neighborhood of $4000 a month, mom visibly cringed. In further discussing long-term care facilities, Csw didn’t seem keen on the idea of mom moving, but then, that does cut into any income that the hospice would receive.  But, we will cross that bridge if the time comes.

Csw looked at the advance directive (POLST) mom filled out.  The form might not be filled out correctly for the care she actually wants done.  For instance, if I find her passed out on the floor not breathing, she may want CPR. There are a slew of variables as to whether or not she would want CPR performed.  What happened, why is she not breathing, what is her potential of coming through and able to live a normal life, how long was she down? Mom’s biggest concern is being a vegetable and a burden.  She has told me a gazillion times, (yes, I know that it’s an exaggeration) that she doesn’t want to live a life where everything needs to be done for her. We were advised to talk to her primary care physician about what mom’s outcome might be if CPR was performed in the event of an emergency.

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