Caregiver’s Story…. Settling In

Mom and I have been home a little over a month now. Overall, it’s been a smooth transition. However, the first couple days were highly stressful for all involved. There was so much to do it was overwhelming.  At first I tried doing a little of this and a little of that but mom and I just got on each others nerves.  It dawned on me that if mom feels more settled in, me doing other things around the house might not unnerve her so.  So getting mom settled in quickly became a high priority. In no time at all we had the furniture arranged to her satisfaction and began giving her boxes to unpack. While she contentedly unpacked her personal items, I was able to dabble in the other rooms while she puttered in her room (the master suite with adjoining bath.) We still have boxes to unpack but mom is comfortable and content, so I won’t burden her with the additional boxes for the time being.

As I mentioned, mom and I can get on each others nerves so, I am grateful for my husband who has a very good relationship with mom. He can say things to her that if I said them I would wilt under the “mom stare” that I would receive.   When mom gets snarky with me I hand the reigns over to him and go do something else. By the time I get back all is well and smoothed over. It boggles my mind that she will answer questions he asks when she refuses to answer the same question from me.  Sigh, I guess that is part of the relationship of mothers and daughters.

A couple weekends ago,  my brother and his wife came for a visit.  I think they wanted to be sure that the move was a good idea. They’ve been concerned that the altitude would be a problem with mom’s breathing issues. While they were here, I reminded them to tell me if they heard mom complain or if she was having any physical problems. (as I mentioned, sometimes she will tell others things that she won’t tell me.) So towards the end of the visit, I asked them if they heard mom complain about anything. They both said no, and agreed that mom appears happy and looks better than she has in months. My brother went so far as to say that living here with us seems like where she needs to be.

I appreciated the affirmation from him that the move was a good idea.

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