A Caregiver’s Story….. Opposites

Sometimes care giving is hard.

Sometimes my best isn’t good enough.

Sometimes I fail as a daughter.

Sometimes I fail as a compassionate human being.

Mom and I have a hard time communicating  during stressful discussions. Our communication styles are different. She is reserved and keeps things in.  I am passionate and want things resolved.  I don’t like how she keeps quiet; she doesn’t like how loud I am.

During our verbal altercations what I hear is that I don’t do enough.  I don’t try hard enough. That I am stubborn. That I don’t listen. That I don’t do enough for her. That it is my way or the highway. (Ha,that one always gets a rise out of me.)

The end result in many of our tussles she’ll tell me she’s going to move out. I will tell her go ahead.  Is mom’s behavior similar to a petulant child telling their parent that they are going to run away?

I do recognize that some of our difficulties stem from moms age; I just wish I could remember that during our verbal engagements. I hate hurting her feelings. And  yet, it’s so hard to figure out what she is trying to communicate. Most times, we both end up hurt and angry.

Today I got a tiny bit smarter.  I was able to stop trying to get her to talk. Sigh.That didn’t help me but it did help the situation to not implode.

Care giving is hard.





  1. #1 by Nandini on June 1, 2016 - 2:12 pm

    Take heart and do not beat yourself up after everything said and done you are still there for her. It is just part of our parents getting to be old. It is beyond their control. It sounds almost close to mine and my dad’s story. Regards

    Liked by 1 person

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