Sometimes care giving is hard.
Sometimes my best isn’t good enough.
Sometimes I fail as a daughter.
Sometimes I fail as a compassionate human being.
Mom and I have a hard time communicating during stressful discussions. Our communication styles are different. She is reserved and keeps things in. I am passionate and want things resolved. I don’t like how she keeps quiet; she doesn’t like how loud I am.
During our verbal altercations what I hear is that I don’t do enough. I don’t try hard enough. That I am stubborn. That I don’t listen. That I don’t do enough for her. That it is my way or the highway. (Ha,that one always gets a rise out of me.)
The end result in many of our tussles she’ll tell me she’s going to move out. I will tell her go ahead. Is mom’s behavior similar to a petulant child telling their parent that they are going to run away?
I do recognize that some of our difficulties stem from moms age; I just wish I could remember that during our verbal engagements. I hate hurting her feelings. And yet, it’s so hard to figure out what she is trying to communicate. Most times, we both end up hurt and angry.
Today I got a tiny bit smarter. I was able to stop trying to get her to talk. Sigh.That didn’t help me but it did help the situation to not implode.
Care giving is hard.