Anxiety Attack

  Last night I had to get out of bed, despite being dead tired (which I seem to be all the time right now), and try to get my brain to stop racing full tilt into that  harrowing pit of “What if….” My heart galloped as fast as my brain. My breathing was shallow and quick. I had a […]

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A Caregiver’s Story…. Imperfect Parenting

****From December 2016*** I am needing to forgive the imperfections of my moms parenting.  She has never been a discusser of feelings, but as she has gotten older and sicker, heart clearing discussions are even more difficult.  Mom recollects the past through a crepey memory, and if I push my needy feelings onto her, she cries. […]

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I’m Gonna Miss that Bike

Over the summer I learned how to ride a dirt bike.  I never thought I would ride a motorcycle. When I was young, I tried to ride a motorized scooter. I got scared of the speed and jumped off. I wasn’t assured that I was doing fine and I wasn’t encouraged to try again. (A very […]

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A Caregiver’s Story….ReGrowing Pains

***This post was originally written in July of 2017*** It’s almost been seven months since mom died.  My heart still has not chosen to believe that she is gone.  When I was visiting in Washington, I would have these thoughts, “Oh, I gotta call mom and tell her about this!” Then I would remember that […]

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Caregiver’s Story…. Equipment

  ***This post began in January of 2017*** Apria came and took away moms medical equipment.  Not only did she have a concentrator and bottle filler.  She had two emergency MM tanks in case of power failure. There were five refillable portable oxygen tanks, two size E non-refillables for traveling distances, and five additional non-refillables, […]

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